I've always been the 'dream girl' in the first flush of a relationship. Those years of acting training have really sealed some deals for me. It's when I let my guard down and let it slip that I'm only interested in what a Bravo housewife has to say on the matter (politics, sports...what have you). Or when I'm straddling them after sex with my belly fat hanging over my jeans and quite seriously ask...'what was your favorite part?' that I start to lose them.
But during that first flush...I'm funny, smart, soft to the touch and somehow just so fucking skinny.
By about year three- they realize that the frigid binge eater that gags during a very rare blow job isn't the Marie Antionette he had envisioned. Curses.
I think I'm gonna shake things up a bit. Start with the crazy. Long winded text messages about my feelings and Hanes Her Way's in assorted colors. Make them feel trapped right in the beginning so the only way to go is up. Trickery to my advantage. The rest is well...cake.
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